Remembering MacT

By , August 9, 2009 5:39 pm
POTF: Hi Craig, thanks for agreeing to this interview, we know how busy you are, and all.
MacT: Yah, well you probably could have waited until I was out of the washroom…
POTF: These bigger stalls are pretty roomy though, hey? Soooooo anyways… how’s the whole job hunting thing coming?
MacT: Well, to be honest with you, I’ve enjoyed the time off. I’m not really looking for anything at this time.
POTF: Have you had any offers from other teams around the league?
MacT: I’m enjoying the time off, and not really concerning myself with looking.
POTF: I noticed Charlie Huddy got a job with the stars the other day.
MacT: LOOK! I’m sick of you guys asking about Huddy. What more can I say about him? The guy’s conditioning is horrible. When we brought him in to the coaching staff, we thought that would be the starting
point… it turned out that……..
*awkward silence*
POTF: Wow.
MacT: Sorry.
Ok, so that interview was obviously not real (there, now I can’t be sued…), but here’s my list of top MacTavish quotes that are real.
Top 10 Craig MacTavish quotes:
10. I don’t know if high-sticking is up. I don’t think so. Some of those old guys were pretty cut up. And you know, (current high-stick incidents) are all accidental. So I don’t know how there could be more now
compared to back then, where there were a lot more intentional ones, for sure. There were some wicked stickmen when I started. It was part of it. That’s how guys like Bobby Schmautz played, and even Wayne
Cashman, who was a helluva stickman. And guys were proud of it. It was, ‘Hey, if you screw around with me, I’m gonna carve your eyes out.’ There’s an expression you never hear any more.
9. It’s a smart style of hockey against a very explosive team. We won’t call it a trap.
8. I had one penalty shot once and all I could think of was don’t fall and don’t shoot it into the corner. Get a shot on net.
7. I laugh at coach’s interviews between periods because how many different and creative ways can you put pucks and bodies to the net? ‘We want to get traffic to the net,’ ‘We want to get in front of the
goaltender’
6. Colin Campbell and Mike Murphy, they have got a lot of experience and they have got a lot of savvy and I think they do a good job separating the legitimate complaints from the illegitimate complaints. They
maybe don’t do quite as good a job with our team because we’re one of the few teams or maybe the only team that only has legitimate complaints.
5. The perfect guest again. I wondered why they were going to pick us to retire Al MacInnis’ jersey. (After losing 2-1 to the Blues)
4. Will I be wishing we’d played Dallas again? I’ll let you know in 10 days.
3. I was surprised by how easy it came out. It was one of those tear-away tongues. Kevin Lowe said I should have tucked it into the breast pocket of my jacket. Like an ascot.
2. We all know he can be very dangerous at both ends of the ice. (on Igor Ulanov)
1. He reminds me of the wizard of Oz, where you comb his hair, put on a white shirt on and wheel him out in front of the camera and he’s gonna say whatever you guys want…clearly it’s a crusade of self promotion
on his part at this point…you know, what goes around comes around in this league. (on Brian Burke)
MacTavish explaining to Schremp that is career is fucked

MacTavish asking Schremp if he's any good at any other sports

So being that it’s a slow news week, and all, we decided it would be great to call up our ol’ buddy Craig MacTavish and ask him a few questions. However, since we’re not really buddies with MacTavish, we made up what we think is a reasonable facsimile of the interview, as it would have taken place.

POTF: Hi Craig, thanks for agreeing to this interview, we know how busy you are, and all.

MacT: Yah, well you probably could have waited until I was out of the washroom…

POTF: I’ve been watching you take a crap behind the bench for 8 years; I’m used to it.  Soooooo anyways… how’s the whole job hunting thing coming?

MacT: Well, to be honest with you, I’ve enjoyed the time off. I’m not really looking for anything at this time.

POTF: Have you had any offers from other teams around the league?

MacT: Most teams weren’t in need of coaching help at this time. I’m enjoying the time off, and not really concerning myself with looking, anyways.

POTF: I noticed Charlie Huddy got a job with the Stars the other day. That didn’t take long at all. I mean, shit, even that unhireable asshole Peeters got picked up pretty quick…

MacT: LOOK! I’m sick of you guys asking about this! What more can I say about either of them? So what if Huddy looks like John Malkovich¹. He owes me his career. As for Peeters, he’s a hack! When we brought him in to the coaching staff, we thought that would be the starting point… it turned out that it was really the fin…

*awkward silence*

POTF: Wow.

MacT: Sorry.

And now here are my 10 favorite real quotes from the eloquent master of the interview, himself.

Top 10 Craig MacTavish quotes:

10. “The perfect guest again. I wondered why they were going to pick us to retire Al MacInnis’ jersey.” (after losing 2-1 to the Blues on Al MacInnis’ jersey retirement night)

9. “I said to the players today that Carolina is a little bit like carbon monoxide poisoning; you don’t really sense it, you don’t really sense the fear, but it’s lethal.”

8. “I laugh at coach’s interviews between periods because how many different and creative ways can you put pucks and bodies to the net? ‘We want to get traffic to the net,’ ‘We want to get in front of the goaltender.'”

7. “Colin Campbell and Mike Murphy, they have got a lot of experience and they have got a lot of savvy and I think they do a good job separating the legitimate complaints from the illegitimate complaints. They maybe don’t do quite as good a job with our team because we’re one of the few teams or maybe the only team that only has legitimate complaints.”

6. “Will I be wishing we’d played Dallas again? I’ll let you know in 10 days.”

5. “There are times when you can see Gary Bettman’s name on the puck.” (on Ryan Smyth’s league-feared howitzer)

4. “He treats turnovers like donuts and ordered a dozen early.” (on Ales Hemsky)

3. “I was surprised by how easy it came out. It was one of those tear-away tongues. Kevin Lowe said I should have tucked it into the breast pocket of my jacket. Like an ascot.” (after yanking out Harvey the Hound’s tongue)

2. “We all know he can be very dangerous at both ends of the ice.” (on Igor Ulanov’s two-goal night)

1. “He reminds me of the wizard of Oz, where you comb his hair, put on a white shirt on and wheel him out in front of the camera and he’s gonna say whatever you guys want…clearly it’s a crusade of self promotion on his part at this point…you know, what goes around comes around in this league.” (on Blow-hard Burke)

With quotes like those, I’m hoping to see/hear more of MacTavish in the future. Ultimately, being a Sportsnet announcer for Oilers games would make me quite giddy.

¹ – credit to OntOilFan on HFBoards for noting the resemblance.

13 Responses to “Remembering MacT”

  1. Hockey Noob says:

    Hey Racki,

    Funny article… One of my all-time favorite Craig Mactavish quotes, “It was a debacle of monumental proportions.”

  2. Mr.Majestyk says:

    I’d like to see MacT with Sportsnet or TSN next year. Not sure if sitting with the panel would be his bag, but he does have some funny zingers now and then.

  3. Racki says:

    I wouldn’t have expected Johnny Tortilla to do it, but he did too. MacTavish could provide some good insight too, in addition to the funny quips. I liked when Simpson was our color-man here. Good to have a guy who’s knowledgeable about the team doing the color.

  4. burped on Oil says:

    I do know for a fact MacT was offered an NHL head coaching position right after he parted with the Oilers, but turned it down – family time took priority (8 years is a long run).

  5. Steve-O says:

    Not only was he a good interview, dude did pretty good with what he was given for a few years. Last year was kinda a shit show, but I still think he’s a decent coach and given another team he will do well.

  6. DropIt says:

    Agreed, Mctavish was a solid coach, and before Brent Sutter became available, I was hoping he would come to Calgary.

    I’ve mentioned it before, Mctavish is a good coach, he was just in the Edmonton system too long and players stopped buying into what he was preaching. Both he and Oilers needed a change from each other. I expect Craig to get another gig by next year.

  7. Racki says:

    I won’t pull any punches.. I’m glad MacT is gone.I don’t think he’s a horrible coach, but he’s completely the wrong coach for this team. There were big philosophy differences between the coach and management. Granted, he had some pretty bad teams at times mostly due to our Canadian dollar being bad, but as we gained more offensive players, we didn’t gain any offensive prowess. Our powerplay has always been abysmal here despite having some good talent on it. Despite being burned by the back door play on our pk for years, it took forever for him and the other PP cronies to start exploiting that himself. I also felt his timing with timeouts was very ill-thought-out.

    There were things he did well, but I think his abilities were exaggerated. He’s a good motivator for those grunt type guys, but I don’t think he can handle a skilled team. The time was definitely right to move on.

    Again, not saying he’s a bad coach, I just feel he was completely wrong for this kind of team and he’s not all that he appears to be either. The 05/06 SCF was about 90% C.F.P.. Remove that, and we have 0 playoff wins under MacT. But I do give him some credit with that though. But I would have been happy to see him behind the Flames’ bench, making friends with Harvey.

  8. kej3210 says:

    haha love the Ulanov quote, he was one of my favourites

  9. chucker says:

    I hope to see MacT in the broadcast booth as well. I’m hoping he covers some Oiler games. It would be interesting to hear his comments on successes and failures of the team this year.

  10. Puritania says:

    chucker: I hope to see MacT in the broadcast booth as well. I’m hoping he covers some Oiler games. It would be interesting to hear his comments on successes and failures of the team this year.

    Same here, color man on oil games or the TSN panel would be great. not a fan of his coaching but hes a sharp guy, has great quotes and is actually a pretty funny guy.

  11. chucker says:

    Puritania: Same here, color man on oil games or the TSN panel would be great. not a fan of his coaching but hes a sharp guy, has great quotes and is actually a pretty funny guy.

    I think he’d do very well at the job of colour man. He is a bright guy and very funny as you mentioned. I’m sure he’d have some good lines about some of the Oilers players when they succeed or fail.

  12. Racki says:

    Maybe call out a few players… call Schremp lazy, and Penner fat… I can see it already. This is a more acceptable medium for him venting on players. lol

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Panorama Theme by Themocracy

%d bloggers like this: